I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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