and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
