dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
