Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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