hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
