You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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