why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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