he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
