she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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