hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
