I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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