He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
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I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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