wanna go halves on a baby?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
