grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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