Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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