YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize