At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't want my vagina anymore.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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