Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
