I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You ruined the universe
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
