I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
