Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
