So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
