i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
