youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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