i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
