Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I understand Curling. That high.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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