i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
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