Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
