I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
