So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
