there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
