Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
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Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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