I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
