Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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