Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
operation harelip BJ is a go
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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