OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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