He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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