If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
