You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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