Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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