No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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