whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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