no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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