I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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