Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
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apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
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