I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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