Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
