would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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