Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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