butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You may now shotgun with the bride
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
