Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
