your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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