everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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