You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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