jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize